The Blame Game - MAC099

When your career feels stalled and growth seems out of reach, it’s tempting to look outward for answers. Maybe it’s the company culture. Maybe your boss doesn’t recognize your potential. Or maybe the job market is just brutal. These might all be valid frustrations, but dwelling on them leads nowhere. The Blame Game feels satisfying in the moment, but it rarely sparks progress. If anything, it keeps you circling the same dead-end thoughts, instead of charting a new path forward.

Blame often functions as emotional armor. When we pin our lack of career progress on external forces; a difficult manager, a broken system, or bad timing; we shield ourselves from a harsher possibility: that our own choices, habits, or blind spots might be part of the equation. This deflection is comforting because it absolves us of responsibility. It tells us, “It’s not you……it’s them.” And while that can feel protective, it also keeps us passive, removed from the power we actually hold to create change.

Blame doesn’t always show up as frustration or finger-pointing. Sometimes it disguises itself as logic. “The company isn’t growing, so no one’s getting promoted.” “I’m not being assigned strategic projects; it’s out of my hands.” These explanations sound rational, even fair. But that’s precisely what makes them dangerous. They quietly reinforce the belief that your circumstances are fixed, that your potential is capped by forces you can't influence. But what if that narrative is incomplete? What if there’s more within your control than you’ve allowed yourself to see?

Dave Anderson (https://www.linkedin.com/in/scarletink/) touched on the Blame Game in his Scarlet Ink newsletter (https://www.scarletink.com/p/no-more-excuses-trading-blame-for-action), where he reviewed responses that he received to some of his newsletter articles. The feedback he gave to those responses helped inspire this exploration of how reframing blame can lead to reclaiming power.

Agency isn’t always handed to you—it’s something you often have to claim. Especially when it feels like everything’s slipping beyond your control. In those moments, action isn’t optional—it’s essential. Blame, excuses, and even rational-sounding limitations build walls around your potential. And the only way forward? Break through them. To realign your career, you have to stop waiting for permission and start rewriting the story. That starts with believing you can influence the outcome.

Let’s tackle some common career-stalling excuses—and explore how to reframe them to regain your agency.

“My manager won’t let me...” or “They are always micromanaging me.”

As I unpacked in Episode 95 of the podcast (https://www.managingacareer.com/95), micromanagement often stems from three sources: lack of trust, pressure to perform, or fear of failure. The key isn’t to wait for the grip to loosen—it’s to earn the slack. Build trust through consistent delivery, clear communication, and proactive ownership. When your manager sees you as reliable and competent, control tends to give way to collaboration.

“The job market is tough right now.” or "It's SO hard to get promoted!"

While that may be true. It's also a call for creativity. In Episode 93 (https://www.managingacareer.com/93), I explored career pivots—those adjacent roles or skill sets that aren’t a leap, but a shift. Whether you’re looking to switch companies or grow where you are, this strategy helps you stretch into new responsibilities and showcase untapped potential, which can fast-track that elusive promotion.

“My assignment isn’t promotion-worthy” or “I don’t get to explore new technologies.”

Don’t wait for the perfect project. Carve out time each week to learn something new—especially emerging tech that aligns with your company’s goals. Then champion what you’ve learned within your team. Volunteer for stretch assignments. Become the person who brings energy and innovation into the room. Promotions often follow visibility and initiative.

Across every stalled scenario, one theme rises above the rest: action. Not reaction. Not justification. Action. When you catch yourself pointing outward—blaming a boss, a market, a system—pause and flip the script. Instead of asking why something is blocking you, ask what you can do to move forward. Shift from obstacle to opportunity. And if you’re not sure what that looks like, enlist help. A trusted peer or a career coach can shine light on blind spots and offer the kind of advice that nudges you back into motion. Just remember—clarity is useless without commitment. You have to follow through.

At its core, agency is about ownership. Owning the problem, yes—but more importantly, owning the solution. When you choose to act instead of excuse, to lean in rather than check out, you’re doing more than clearing your current hurdle. You’re signaling something powerful to everyone around you: I take responsibility. I solve hard things. That kind of initiative doesn’t just move careers forward—it sets you apart. While others wait for conditions to change, you’re busy becoming the kind of professional companies fight to keep and leaders trust to elevate.

Your next promotion isn't waiting -- it's waiting on YOU.

A career coach can help you build the skills you need in order to implement these strategies.  If you need a career coach, reach out to me via the  Contact Form at ManagingACareer.com (https://www.managingacareer.com/contact/).  I'll schedule an introductory session where we can talk about your career goals and determine if we would be a good fit for coaching.  If we are, we can arrange regular sessions to help you put your career on the fast track to advancement.

Are you looking for a career coach? If you reach out to me via the contact form, I will arrange an introductory session where we can talk about your career goals and how I can help. If we're a good fit, we can schedule regular coaching sessions.