Invisible Guardrails - MAC097

The other day, I was listening to the Smart Passive Income podcast (https://www.smartpassiveincome.com/) by Pat Flynn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/patflynn3/).  It wasn't even in the episode itself, but in his call to action at the end that he said a quote that was both insightful and inspiring to me.  So much so that it lead to today's episode.  In his episode, Pat said "It's not the mistakes you make that derail you.  It's the mistakes you make that becomes the rails you work within."

So, before we break that down, let's take a step back and talk about those rails -- those guardrails.  Guardrails are usually designed to keep you from going somewhere you shouldn't and to keep you safe.  But, when it comes to your career, those guardrails are often built by others -- or more specifically they are created by yourself based on the expectations you think other have for you -- and are here to keep you in line.  In the end, they may be holding us back from our full potential by keeping us from breaking out of a box that we find ourselves in.

So, what do I mean by all of that?

When it comes to career advancement, what's holding you back?  If you have limiting beliefs that keep you from speaking up or from challenging yourself, it may be time to review them and find a way to tear those guardrails down.  Let's look at some common guardrails that people believe that they must work within.

The first one is seniority based deference.  Especially early in your career, but it can happen at any time; if you find yourself surrounded by those with more tenure or more experience or higher rank, do you defer decisions to them.  Maybe you feel like if you challenge them you'll be considered problematic.  This can cause you to remain quiet and never express your ideas.

Instead of focusing on the seniority of others, focus on the different perspective that you bring.  Back up your ideas with data and preparation; a well-researched, well-thought-out idea is hard to argue against.  Challenge yourself to speak up in a meeting.  If you're still struggling with that, look for opportunities to present the idea to participants before the meeting starts.  Their feedback can help you refine your pitch and give you more confidence when the actual meeting takes place.

Along the same lines as seniority based deference is cultural conditioning.  In some cultures, hierarchy matters and is ingrained from an early age.  If you come from one of these cultures, you may wait for permission to speak instead of talking any time you have an idea.  If the meeting facilitator comes from a western culture, they may not realize and never offer the permissions you expect.  When you speak less, people begin to assume that you have nothing to contribute.

When you work for a global company, consider how company culture aligns with societal culture.  Western companies are more often going to value those contribute ideas.  If societal culture is hard for you to break past, then figure out who is leading the meetings that you will participate in and discuss the cultural difference that they may not be aware of .  Devise a signal that you can give them that indicates that you have something to contribute to the discussion so that they will offer the permission you seek.

Another guardrail that you may face is that of patriarchal conditioning.  Some companies or industries are heavily male dominated which leads to unwritten rules about how women should act.  Any deviation from those expectations can be punished by those in charge.  And when you also face cultural conditioning, this can be compounded exponentially.  In these situations, women will often revert to self-minimizing language in order to come across as non-threatening to their male team members.

To combat patriarchal conditioning, it's important to remember that being direct and being aggressive are different behaviors.  You can be direct without being aggressive.  Being direct is about bringing clarity.  Additionally, review Episode 087 (https://www.managingacareer.com/87) called "Language Matters".  Pay close attention to the sections on undermining your self and undermining your intelligence, but in short, look for ways to remove phrases from your vocabulary such as "Sorry" or "I could be wrong" or "I don't know".  Using these phrases are not just making you appear non-threatening, but are also perpetuating the patriarchal view.

There are also guardrails based on race and ethnic identity.  You may work at a company with very few people that look like you or that share a common heritage with you.  You limit what you say and how you say it in order to not validate any stereotypes that your colleagues may have.  You may even force yourself to tone down your actions or language in order to not be perceived as "emotional" or "problematic".  Code-switching can be draining.

If this applies to you, I'm not going to pretend to know the best way to handle this situation.  I'm a cis-gendered white male living in the United States.  But, what I can say is that some of us are allies, so seek us out.  Use us to amplify your voice.

Regardless of the source of your guardrails, they all lead to limits that can hold you back.  You become diminished or invisible.  And when you aren't seen, you won't be supported when it comes time for advancement.  While the guardrails may have been built by society, your inaction reinforces them.  If we look back at the quote from Pat Flynn, "It's not the mistakes you make that derail you.  It is the mistakes you make that become the rails you work within."  If I reframe it in the context of this episode, "When you let your guardrails limit your action, you make the mistake that will derail your progress."

So, how can you break free of the guardrails?

• In 12-step programs , the first step to breaking free is to name what limits you.  The same applies here, name your guardrail.  Say it out loud.  Tell a friend.  By naming it, it loses some of its power.
• In Episode 085 (https://www.managingacareer.com/85), I talked about how confidence builds confidence.  Test the water; start by speaking up in small ways.  The more you speak up, the easier it will get.  You may start by speaking up to support someone else's idea.  As you gain confidence, you can then transition to offering your own ideas and eventually even being the first to bring an idea to the team.
• Look for allies.  I don't mean other people in your same situation.  Look for people who are not afraid to speak up that can bring you into the conversation.
• Practice what you want to say.  If you feel nervous speaking up, write it down so that you don't lose track.  The better you know your material, the more confident you will be when speaking.
• Remove all minimizing phrases from your vocabulary.  Be clear and direct without being overly aggressive.
• And lastly, if you feel it necessary to have permission to speak, I hereby give it to you.  You are smart and capable; you wouldn't have this job is you were not.  You have permission to speak up and bring forward your ideas.

This is a very important episode of the podcast.  If you are personally impacted by these guardrails, use these guidelines to break free of them.  If you KNOW someone who is impacted by these guardrails, be an ally.  Call them into conversations and support their ideas.  Share this podcast -- and specifically this episode -- with the marginalized members of your team.

Are you looking for a career coach? If you reach out to me via the contact form, I will arrange an introductory session where we can talk about your career goals and how I can help. If we're a good fit, we can schedule regular coaching sessions.